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"Apathy is comforting. Numbness is comforting. But I'd rather feel pain and suffering than hollowness and emptiness, and I'd rather feel like I'm fighting this pain with someone else than just myself. Maybe finding a friend would help."
William Eunice Lugo-Cavalero is an autistic Puerto Rican (or the equivalent of one, depends on what your perspective is) from the Dark Infinity Realm, specifically the Caribbean Paradise sub-realm. His autism makes him feel alienated from the outside world, but his sense of determination keeps him going, willing to try and work around his condition even if it means going out of his comfort zone, a thing that terrifies him.
He used to be a psi-tweaker before getting his reward system reset by a psychic psychologist as that was seen as the only way to get off that crap.
- 1 His Past
- 2 Body And Mind
- 3 Abilities And Weapons
- 4 Relationships
- 5 Fun Facts
His Past[edit | edit source]
Childhood[edit | edit source]
He was born in the Caribbean Paradise sub-realm in 2004 A.D. He was born to Isabella Lugo and Jose Eunice Cavalero. His father deserted him and his mother after being told that he would no longer be welcome until he sobered up. He'd come to realize that it was a good thing his father left, as his father was both a nicotine addict and loved to come home drunk.
His mother moved to the main sub-realm when he was 6. Her emotionally distant ways would be apparent to even a young William, as Sophia's aunt cared for him and made sure to never be emotionally distant, unlike his mother. William doesn't remember much from this time, but the effects are felt in him.
Early Teens (11-13)[edit | edit source]
He was suffering. This change messed up his body and made him backslide in his progress. He had to get readjusted, having his meds changed in order to balance his brain chemistry. He was also hateful to boot but was taught a lesson after he tried to square up to his mom and then was beat hard, being in pain for hours afterward from how hard it was, feeling like how hard a pandareta gets hit at a Puerto Rican church.
Beginnings[edit | edit source]
He first, at 14, was immature. He was either loved or hated, depending on the person, due to his tendency to switch personalities to match how he wanted the person to see him, out of some juvenile want of control.
This coincided with an addiction to Psionic Amplifiers and Ceremods due to injecting himself with both substances after going to an Amp Party in hopes of becoming more powerful in the mind, not realizing that Psionic Amplifiers are addictive as they flood the reward system with dopamine due to the effects being desirable to the mind, but not to the body.
The Ceremods weren't a problem, but the Psionic Amplifiers were. He had to get his addiction broken by a psychic named Dr. Smiths, a substance abuse specialist who is recognized for breaking Amplifier addictions using the psychic ability Mindhack to restore the reward system to its regular function and to fix any damage to the medulla.
Since turning 16 and 8 months old, his tendency for self-hatred and fakeness has diminished significantly. He's been improving since a medication change happened when he was 14, making his weight and therefore his attitude, anger, and self-image, improve drastically. He fell from 235 to 172, making him feel secure in his body again.
Meeting Sophia[edit | edit source]
William had a crush on Sophia ever since he was 15. Her phyisque and cryptic outward personality (to William) would draw a hormonal and extremely curious William in, wanting to see what this cryptic and mysterious personality hid. Out of being inconfident, he wouldn't, as he'd feel as if he'd make himself look like a cocky idiot. He's a good 6.5 trying to approach a 12, and that's on a ten-point scale.
But he'd get tired of feeling inconfident and would admit his crush to Sophia while asking to be her friend out of a bad time he had with rushing a relationship and not wanting to relive that.
She'd recognize him from when he came with his mom to get Milo, William's husky. She was quite young when she met him, about seven, and would be so happy to meet him again. They'd go get some ice cream together for their first escapade as friends.
But then he'd have multiple night terrors that would shake him.
Odio Se[edit | edit source]
He liked to use his imagination to fight against the things that ailed him, and so he conjured up a manifestation of his self-hatred, pridefully thinking he could fight it easily. Maybe he didn't realize how strong his self-hatred was. His imagination was already hellish, violent, and this thing created from the pits of his self-hate would only make it worse for the inhabitants of it. Corruption would spread all around, like tendrils of flesh slowly consuming whatever is left of William's innocence, and he'd be helpless to stop this thing from turning the good into bad and the bad into contemptible. A new ruler would be named, and his name was King Odio Se.
Through puzzles, thought exercises, hard work, and sheer will, he trudged through the evil. Beings made of corrupted inhabitants of the kingdom, things that represent all his memories, now used against him to try and break him down. Each of these things, oozing with a yellow protoplasm-like infection, had to die by the hands of the Psibreaker. Each memory that was corrupted, gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. GONE. GONE. GONE. GONE. G... GONE... GONE!!!
He lamented this. So many moments that he cherished, now used against him. He lost so much in this fight, but memories fade in time, they fade in time. He found the castle where Odio Se was in, where he laid. This fight must be completed. Odio Se...
Must. Die. Must. Die. He must die. And he will die with such precision and such brutality he shall be made into ground beef from how absolute his annihilation will be. God will aid him, give him the strength to keep going, the strength necessary to make him pay for corrupting all he loved and loves. He drove him to sin in order to ignore this aching in him caused by this creature made of darkness.
The Cycle Continues[edit | edit source]
So William learned that the only way to stop the expansion of this corruption was to accept he hates himself, but acceptance is only a means to an end. He had to fight like hell, almost losing until the dove came along and gave William the strength to make Odio Se's mutated, disgusting form into meaty giblets. He'd feel a burden lifted off him once this abomination of a ruler was destroyed, and he finally could see the light.
He once hated that he had autism. Nothing worse than feeling like that light was too bright, that sound too loud, or that smell too noisome and intense. Socializing was a nightmare, with William's inability to look someone directly in the eye being a bother for him, as people thought he wasn't paying attention while they were speaking, and he was. He also was obsessed, crazily obsessed, over what he loved, and no one wanted to bond over his interests, usually being dismissive and uncaring about what he had to say about the things he loved, like video games and obscure music. And he was subject to violent outbursts, feeling as if his body was overwhelmed, each sense overloaded with intensely he was feeling this outburst in him, turning into a fireball of rage steeped in anxiety and spiked with sensations of pain.
He still had so much more to do, but alas, he was able to change how he felt, not how he was, and that's okay. The blindfold of self-hate was lifted and with the clarity given to him now, he finally opened the door to let light in. He smiled as his imagination was no longer ruled by a malevolent force, the crown which Odio Se wore on his head, and his once personal hell now was an oasis of hope, where he could jump to in order to find peace from the outside world. His self-fulfilling fears of loneliness were now seen for what they were, and so he reached out into the proverbial void, grabbing onto the hands of someone that intimidated him, someone in his eyes perfect, so perfect, and his self-hate began to bubble again, making him feel a strong sense of jealous and envy over this person.
He swore to make this person pay and so he made them miserable, and so himself too. Misery loves company after all. Better to be miserable and with someone else than be lonely and happy, William thought. A fool he was for thinking so.
Taking What Is Not His[edit | edit source]
William become jealous after a glance of Sophia's room, full of expensive things that he wished he had. A nice computer, a bunch of games, and a whole lot of decadent gizmos. He'd let this jealousy get the best of him and would then spitefully take what not his, that hairpin of hers.
He'd swipe that hairpin while she wasn't looking and then watched as she'd panic. Tears would run down her face as she'd weep about that hairpin being the only thing left of her dead dog that she didn't want to lose. This weeping would be like a feast of schadenfreude, an 8-course meal of malicious joy from Sophia's suffering. He'd feast on this meal, as he'd quietly laugh at a panicked and miserable Sophia, not caring about how Sophia felt.
As he laughed about this at home, he decided to daydream to calm the mind instead of playing video games. Too bad his imagination was ravaged by the feelings that ailed him.
Rude Awakening[edit | edit source]
His jealous hatred of Sophia would cause his imagination to twist once more. He'd fight against what seemed to be twisted forms of Sophia in his hellscape imagination, be it Sophia horribly mutated beyond recognition, her face bolted on to some forsaken machinery run by a beating heart, or a giant rusty robotic replica of her that would terrorize the citizens of Hope, his own personal haven. This would make him angry. Angry that he no longer had a haven.
He had to fight through these creatures that were Sophia, but corrupt. He'd envy her beauty, her intelligence, her perceived purity, her everything. She'd make him feel like he was in the shadow of a goddess, and he was the small speck of a mortal forced to bow in fear of annihilation. She'd become the thing he most hated, with the corpse of Odio Se reforming into a corrupted angel that has the face of Sophia.
This anger would be the thing that would defeat this jealous hatred, surprising enough. This would motivate him to get to what caused these emotions, which was that he felt alienated in her presence. He felt like when she was around, he'd be alienated because nobody cares about him because she's so much better than him and she could do all these cool things and was prettier than him, Sophia being the beautifully crafted, absolutely scrumptious dessert while William was the comfort food at the table which while people still like, it couldn't compare to the dessert!
It'd bother him that these uncomfortable emotions would rise up from the depths of his insecurity. Feeling like you're the ghost in the presence of a queen is miserable. But then he'd think to himself that maybe, just maybe, he didn't need to be better to compete against Sophia. Maybe being better should be for himself alone, something to be proud about and thank God for instead of being jealous of someone taking his thunder because what is the point of being better if you're never gonna reach the level of the person you're jealous about?
This would weaken this corrupted angel, slowly withering away. The angel would proclaim it'd never die before becoming dust and ashes. Now his jealousy was gone. No longer would the malicious joy be enjoyable.
Regret about taking Sophia's hairpin would ensue as he'd let go of his jealousy, it was a pain in his heart that was unnecessary. He didn't want to hold possession of something clearly close to someone's heart, because if he didn't want anyone taking the things that make up his hobbies, then why does he have any right to take something sentimental and sacred?
Like An Excited Child[edit | edit source]
William was regretful over taking Sophia's hairpin, which would drive him to return it. Sophia would be quite mad at him, but she'd not let that stop him from explaining himself. She'd actually sympathize with William's plight, even offering him an invitation to her house.
His mother would allow this but under one condition. He better be careful with how he treats the girl. She knew her parents, and if her parents come back to his mother and tell her that he treated the girl in any way they didn't approve of, he'd get the chancla slapped across his face hard. He was afraid of getting the dreaded chancla, swearing to his mother that he'll treat her like she was made of gold. This would humor his mother, chuckling at such an exaggerated promise and then saying just to be careful with the girl, saying that the chancla thing was just a joke.
William goes to Sophia's house, meets her parents, and then eats dinner with them and their entire extended family for a nice change of pace for Christmas. Things would take a more passionate turn as Sophia would get him under the mistletoe, and in an act of passion fueled by infatuation, she'd then kiss William under said mistletoe after asking, which then William would feel that he was finally given affection from someone. The white lipstick mark would make his mother quite angry, the approval of her parents quelling said anger. His heart would be filled with fire that would melt away the coldness in his heart, and then when she asked to go to the park with him, he'd accept her offer and would be off and away. Their friendship would begin, this little act of passion meant a lot to William, as her affection was the first time he'd feel someone cared for him enough to do such a thing.
A Friendship[edit | edit source]
William and Sophia would have a shaky friendship. Their passionate beginnings weren't very helpful in establishing a stable connection, especially after Sophia's best friend left for greener pastures, leaving Sophia lonely, and William was in the point before no return when it came to his sanity, leaving him with no one to talk to. Sophia would sense William's mind cracking like poorly made glass due to being alone, coming to him to get him out of whatever dark times he was going through and to fill a hole in herself.
They'd be quite awkward at first, with William's social anxiety and social ineptitude making Sophia frustrated beyond belief. It'd feel like a brick wall from how anxious he was around her, which would dismay her but wouldn't dissuade her. She'd hang around him enough to get him to open up bit by bit, though, like drilling through a jawbreaker with a hand drill. While that was happening, she'd also study him to figure out what he likes and doesn't like, which she'd become a little too familiar with him unintentionally, he was that engrossing to her.
Two Buds[edit | edit source]
Sophia even being his friend set off a chain reaction of cognitive dissonance and self-doubt. That feeling of being an impostor and a phony seeing as he'd never think about being able to score a friend like her would begin to eat him alive. Self-hate would also crawl in, the tendrils slowly creeping around and breaking apart the budding friendship as William would internalize his self-doubt in fear of being rejected or reprimanded. A clueless Sophia would watch as William would then begin to retreat in himself again, not knowing why, as he never spoke a word about what was ticking in his head.
This self-doubt would be tested. Sophia would confess to William that she quite liked his company. While he was quite quiet, self-conscious, and mildly prurient, he always tried to make sure Sophia enjoyed the time around him. From introducing her to console gaming to teaching her the fine arts of precision marksmanship with his air rifle, she'd appreciate his quite varied and interesting set of interests. She'd, in turn, introduce her to her interests, strengthening his relationship with her, making them realize they are quite different, but these differences don't stop them.
Something in William would begin to blossom. Something he tried to stop from growing, an emotion that terrified William. It starts with an A and ends with an N, you feel it when you're drawn to someone romantically.
He felt attraction to Sophia. In January, it wasn't noticeable, but there. In June, it became too much to bear. A fire repressed in his heart began to burn like hell as he tried to ignore it. He was afraid of Sophia turning him down and ruining his friendship, but if it took that to put out the fire, he would do it gladly.
Maybe, It'll Work[edit | edit source]
To Be Written...
Body And Mind[edit | edit source]
Mental Overview[edit | edit source]
He is... broken. He grew up without a father and his mother wasn't the best at taking care of him, even though she tried her damnedest, even with Sophia's aunt aiding and her uncle taking the role of father for William. This would cause a young, happy, blissfully unaware boy to turn into a depressed, anxious, angry wreck once he became older, with time slowly helping him to reclaim the lost shards of sanity he once held happily together as a youth. This wasn't helped by an addiction to Ceremods and Psionic Amplifiers, which while the mental effects were reversed, he still had to live with psionic powers.
William's greatest strength is his almost infinite will. His willpower and willingness to believe there is hope kept him from giving up many times, this unbreakable armor pushing him onward. Maybe it has to do with the etheric dove that perches on him in times of great despair, suicidal urges, or rage. This dove is a signifier of unbreakable faith to those who see its ghostly presence. It's like God is watching over William to make sure he is safe, like a father making sure his children come home every afternoon, to give them a warm welcome and a tasty dinner so he could put smiles on their faces before they go to bed.
He also is deeply insecure and feels inadequate, easily becoming jealous over feeling "unwelcome" or "inferior". To feel challenged and intimated by someone is to dare awaken the devil within William, his eyes filling with fire and bursting with hate when he feels challenged, not afraid to make the subject of his jealousy feel pain. He will make them rue the day he encountered them, maliciously weakening them to make him feel equal to them. William will even steal, cheat, or lie to break someone.
He cannot properly process the feeling of hatred, be it towards himself or others. It's mortifying for William to feel such things, as he is afraid of the intensity and hellish fervor that fills him when he feels hate, like a nail being scraped on a second-degree burn. He can become cruel and sadistic in the heat of hate, but his heart hates the feeling of hate. It's quite easy to get the hate in him out, which even a small act of kindness can cause catharsis in him, purging the hate.
He has an avoidant attachment style which is quite secure compared to other people with the same attachment style, Sophia's aunt giving him the love and attention that his overwhelmed mother couldn't give when Sophia's aunt was around to babysit an overly cheerful, optimistic William. This would manifest in his unwillingness to get emotionally close, albeit able to if he felt secure with the person who was trying to get close. It's quite hard for him to feel secure, though, with his apathetic response to romantic interest being a block between him and a relationship. If the person shares his interests and is willing to care about him, though, he can work something out.
His vibrant imagination to turn into a blood-soaked hellscape, with his multiple confrontations with his greatest enemy, King Odio Se (To Hate Oneself), happening within this twisted realm of imagination. Time and time again, he'd be beaten down, not by the hands of someone, but by the words of something. He'd come to terms with King Odio Se's rule within his mind, realizing that he had not an ounce of strength against a foe who knew how to take it away so swiftly, and that foe was the manifestation of his self-hatred, which would then lead to its defeat.
William has night terrors that are metaphors for his mental issues he has to defeat. It's not a choice at this point.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
He is 5'9.75, about 172 pounds. He's broad and a bit muscly on the arms, albeit quite skinny everywhere else, with brown eyes. He is white, but his face makes him look more Hispanic than white, as he is Puerto Rican. He likes wearing jeans with muscle shirts to match his very expensive sneakers given to him by his mother and a coat that is used when it's cold outside.
He has black hair. His facial hair is a caterpillar mustache along with lamb chops.
Abilities And Weapons[edit | edit source]
Psionic Aptitudes[edit | edit source]
William's set of psionic aptitudes are Pyrokinesis III, Spatial Shift II, Relativity Shift I, Telekinesis III, Temporal Stasis III, Immunity IV, Voltaic Burst V, Heatseeker V, and Cure IV when he is wearing a Nocturnum Necklace. His Psionic Quotient (PSIQ) is 170, which is terrifyingly high compared to the standard of 110 (Extremely Limited Psi). He used to be 110, like everyone else, but then had a 3-month period of addiction to Psionic Amplifiers and Cerebral Modifiers (also known as Ceremods).
Supernatural Abilities[edit | edit source]
His supernatural abilities are simplistic at best. His power of discernment is strong, but anything else is not.
Weaponry[edit | edit source]
Chaos Ripper Psibreaker V8[edit | edit source]
The Chaos Ripper Psibreaker V8 is a piece of Nyx technology that was developed by the Nyx Princess Elizabeth Nocturna to harness the power of psionic potential within each Nyx. This blade acts like an energy sword, with a modifiable core that requires the user to place in the element they want to use, like a Frost Core for the blade to freeze, a Flame Core for the blade to burn, etc. It uses PSI stamina, which William has a PSI stamina of about 15 days and which recharges incredibly fast due to being prescribed psychostimulants to deal with his ADHD.
William has the Reactive Core installed on his Psibreaker, which is a variable core that can switch elements in a fly, able to cast psionic abilities that are elemental.
Relationships[edit | edit source]
Sophia Matteo-Dawn - His friend, a quarter Nyx, quarter angel, half-human that will not physically age past 30.
Isabella Lugo - His mother. A normal NT human with no PSI ability or psychic ability. She's a struggling mother, having to deal with William's autism and such. She's very shy, bitter, and emotionally distant, but tries her best to work around that to raise William, as her husband ditched her and William after he was diagnosed at six months old.
Fun Facts[edit | edit source]
- William is autistic because I am autistic in real life.
- William is based on my race and ethnicity (white Puerto Rican).
- The idea of psionic aptitudes came from the games System Shock 2 and Prey (2017).
- Ceremods are directly inspired by Neuromods from Prey (2017).
- A tweaker is a slang term for someone high on crystal meth, which psi-tweaker is someone hooked on Psionic Adjuvants, as one is a psiostimulant, while another is a psychostimulant.
- A pandareta is a Puerto Rican percussion instrument I've seen played at church before.
- An NT is neurotypical.